by Karen D. Swim
Are you looking for ways to alienate your customers? Do you want to achieve brand visibility by being the most reviled in your industry? Well if this is your goal, I have just the solution for you!
Yesterday, American Airlines announced that it would begin charging $15 for the first checked bag. This in essence means that there is no free luggage, at least not on American. However, kudos to them for being the first U.S. carrier to charge for all checked bags. Go American!
You too can be just like the airline industry. Listed below are 3 proven methods to drive away your customers.
- Treat your employees badly. When employees are undervalued they will respond by handing your customers as gently as a sack of rotten garbage. Don't worry if you are a solo practice with no employees, you can eliminate the middle man and offer rotten service directly.
- Ignore a problem until it gets so big that you almost have to shut down your entire operations, causing a delay to every customer you are currently serving. This one method alone can not only drive away customers but crash your entire business.
- Cut back on expected services, lay off staff and raise your prices. Now this method is absolutely priceless. I get chills just thinking about the repercussions.
Airlines have been so successful with these strategies that customers are all buzzing about how to avoid flying with them. Analytical customers are even questioning if the new policies are discriminatory.
The real beauty of their plan is that I suspect it has been in the making for years. Is it possible that these major businesses failed to make internal changes to sustain leadership and now conveniently blame their failure on the economy?
Do you have surefire tips for driving away customers? Share them in the comments!
Disclaimer: No customers or employees were harmed in the writing of this post. Please do not implement these tactics. This post is meant as a tongue in cheek lesson of what not to do. The author takes no responsibility if you choose to disregard this warning and try this at home.