Tuesday, February 26, 2008

My Love Affair

My lover calls to me in the light of the early morning as the moon drifts higher in the sky and the smoke from nearby chimneys drifts gently into the clouds. I curl my toes in glee as I sink into his familiar warmth knowing he will always be there.

I cannot recall a time when my lover was not present. At the age of two when I picked up a book desperate to untangle the mysteries of the dark and structured letters, he was there. At five when I could not put crayon to page in my coloring book without first telling the story behind the pictures, he was there.

Throughout the angst of my terrible teens, my lover was a gentle presence allowing me to express my anger, frustration and uncertainty as he guided me on a voyage of self-discovery. When the hospital called to say that Daddy was gone, my lover took my hand and helped me to say Good Bye as he gently recalled the man who had so wonderfully sparked the fire that birthed our love.

First love, first dance, and first heartbreak – he was there. Year after year, he listened as I questioned, reasoned, wondered and chronicled love, loss and life. He was sometimes quiet with an air of mystery, and other times bold, aggressive demanding to be heard but always, he was there.

When I lost my mom, my best friend, and had to be reminded to fill my air with lungs, my lover wrapped his arms around me and carried me through the dark days. He was there when I once again felt the sunlight on my face and the joy return to my spirit.

When my husband was dying of cancer, he was there in the middle of the night, attentive to my tear stained prayers and declarations of love. And when my husband died and my pen went silent, my lover waited patiently for my return.

My love affair with writing has been a constant in my life. Writing has allowed me to express my deepest thoughts, sorrows and joys without censure or fear of recrimination. Pen and paper beckon me and as I unite them, I am still awed by the power and passion they produce. I am mesmerized by words that unite and pulsate to a rhythmic beat unaware of their magnetic beauty as they wind across the page challenging me to follow their lead to places unknown.

Karen

This post is a contribution to the Group Writing Project sponsored by Confident Writing. Joanna Young’s theme this month is Leaps and Bounds. The deadline for this project is February 28th so it’s not too late for you to take part!

14 comments:

Unknown said...

Karen, thank you so much for working through your fears and publishing this piece. It is beautiful, and very moving.

And very motivating to me, reminding me of why writing matters, why our words count.

Thank you

Joanna

Anonymous said...

Oh, Karen, what an incredible piece of writing. You've quite taken my breath away! I'm so glad that your affair with the written word has helped you through your darkest hours. Thank you so much for sharing this truly special relationship.
Amy
xx

Unknown said...

Amy, thank you for taking time to read and offer such heartfelt comments. You are truly special and you have made my day!

Karen xx

Karen said...

Not only do we share the same name, I do believe we share the same lover. Reading your passionate call for him reminds me when I do not write, how deeply I ache and yearn for him.

Brava, Karen..
Hope you don't mind sharing
:)

Unknown said...

@Karen - Thank you! I absolutely don't mind sharing in fact I believe our lover is better for having many ardent relationships. ;-)

Anonymous said...

What an incredibly moving story. I too am speechless.

Unknown said...

@Brad Thank you so much Brad for stopping by, reading and encouraging me with your kind words!

Karen

Anonymous said...

Just... thank you.

Unknown said...

@Chris, your words said it all succinctly and beautifully and so I offer them back to you, Thank you.

Karen

Anonymous said...

"I am still awed by the power and passion they produce." That state of awe is an awesome state in which to be.

I hope anyone who has not had this affair is paying attention to more than just how beautifully this is written.

Congratulations on winning the Group Writing Project.

Unknown said...

@Marcia, I live in a permanent state of "awe." :-) Thank you so much for reading and commenting and thanks for the congratulations!

Karen

Anonymous said...

Karen,

Thanks for visiting my blog.

I'm pleased because it means I've discovered yours, and this beautifully poignant piece of writing.

Lillie Ammann said...

Thank you for these beautiful and moving words.

Unknown said...

@Lillie, your words both humble and inspire me. Thank you!

Karen